The Scourge Of Dan McGillicuddy

With considerable edits to make it on this site!

Originally on http://www.bobsmash.com/articles/2007/january/mcgillicuddy.htm but with screaming hot lingo and some suggestiveness, so don't go there unless you like foul language and some tastelessness thrown in with your otherwise common sense.

As you read through this slightly incoherent post, you'll notice this article has something in common with a highly used internet portal - the MySpace chain letter. I enjoy MySpace. I have reconnected with old friends, joined a few communities, and made new friends. I can reach out to potential fans of my rants and my music. Scabby hormone-driven chicks who claim I fathered their love-children can now find me with ease. But the chain letter is freaking ruining it. I don't care what Dateline NBC says - the MySpace chain letter is a much bigger threat to our children than any pedophile from Fortson, GA.

Much like this article, they are always mis-titled. Perhaps a chain letter can't deflower a 15 year old, but it can drive them to the point of insanity as they constantly open bulletins from their supposed friends thinking they actually have something going on. I just get so sick of hamgod damned chain letters. Here I am thinking, "Oh, one of my friends is having a party" or some shart and instead it's a bullcrap chain letter. If you send one you deserve to be run over by a busload of nuns. The time I wasted looking at your stupid "repost this and good things will happen" bullcrap could have been spent doing something else, anything else.

So to discourage this practice among people I know - and yes, I ACTUALLY KNOW most of the people on my MySpace - I have started some of my own chain letters to illustrate to the moronic masses how stupid and asinine these chain letters are, and how ticked I'm going to be at you for wasting my valuable time. First, here's the letter that started it for me.

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And here I was thinking I was going to a kickbutt party! I was pumped, I was psyched, but no! Another in a long line of bullcrap chain letters! GLARG! This sent me over the edge. I just couldn't stand it. So in response, I sent this one out -

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To my incredulity, someone we know who has crappy reflexes and a breast-themed rant page actually reposted this with "I am gay" as the title! I wasn't going to let you see it, but since one of the joys in my life is pwning him, here it is -

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That's just too hilarious, I don't care where you're from - that's funny. But some people just never learn, so I have posted the ultimate "stop posting chain letters" chain letter.

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If any of you repost this on your MySpace, you're fatuous lemmings who do random things because you don't know any better. I will lose all respect for any of my "friends" who posts this as a serious chain letter. We all knew chain letters were bullcrap back when they were sent through snail mail. What's the deal with some of you? Do you really think reading some bullcrap internet script in a crappy font will make you better looking or rich? Do you actually believe you will be stricken by the curse of the gypsy by not reposting?

You probably believe in global warming...errrr, global cooling....errrr, global climate change......errrr, whatever the global disaster de jour is this week. And you probably think it's all George Bush's fault. Moron.