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The OBITUARY for Common Sense

Page history last edited by PBworks 12 years, 5 months ago

It's been quite some time since the last instance of getting this chain letter, so it was almost forgotten.

 

Subject: OBITUARY for Common Sense.

 

Breaker: If the subject had simply said "Obituary" anyone might open it, thinking it was an email of real importants. Even so, anyone new to the net or the mailing list this chain is posted on might at first assume "Common Sense" was the name of a fellow member they never knew.

 

Chain: Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.,

 

Breaker: That beginning might concern anyone who's new to an email list and may assume there was an actual member there who went by the nickname of "Common Sense" However, the next phrase gives away the fact this is nothing but a sappy chain letter that falls particularly flat upon further examination.

 

Chain: No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair and maybe it was my fault.

 

Breaker: Ah, the whine about "bureaucratic red tape" and several cliches thrown in for good measure. Isn't it interesting that "Common Sense" in this chain letter is refered to as a "He" - and who was it to make that decision? Why?

 

Chain: Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies - don't spend more than you earn, and reliable parenting strategies - adults, not children, are in charge.

 

Breaker: Do we really need chain mail to tell us what most of us probably already believe in?

 

The next few paragraphs consist of a typical chain letter whine about too much regulation and too little moral and religiousness etc. etc. While there is too much regulation and a lot of insanity going on in the world, anyone looking to combat these issues isn't going to do so by passing on chain letters.

 

The Stella Awards

 

Chain: Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

 

Breaker: Wrong. Stella Liebeck did not spill "a little" in her lap, a lot was spilled when the car she was riding in put on the breaks so she could add cream and sugar into the coffee, and as she was removing the plastic lid to do so. She did not "fail to realize it was hot" as this historionic simpering chain letter put it. Information about the case tells the whole story. While it isn't the most sensible thing to open a cup of hot coffee to add cream and sugar in a moving car, neither is it necessary for a vender to hold coffee at a scalding temperature of 200 degrees in the first place. That's well over the boiling point of water.

The Stella Awards and Other Urban Myths

 

Chain: Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility and his son, Reason.

 

Breaker: Not so subtle hints of Chauvinism are there. See how "Truth and Trust" are only mentioned as his parents, no gender per virtue. His son gets "Reason" while his wife and daughter are stuck with "Discretion" and "Responsibility" And while we're at it, why not attack steps as well?

 

Chain: He is survived by three stepbrothers; I know my Rights, Someone Else is to blame and I'm a Victim.

 

Breaker: So that must mean "Truth and Trust" got divorced at one time. So who did the steps come from then?

 

When chain letters are spread, common sense, truth, discretion, responsibility, and especially reason go out the window. Trust, in chain letters is unfortunately very much alive.

 

Chain: Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone.

 

Breaker: The reason common sense seems to be gone, at least from the online world, is because people completely lose it when passing on chain letters.

 

Chain: If you still remember him pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

 

Breaker: If there was any doubt at all this is a chain letter, let that last statement remove it. According to this piece of junk, you don't remember common sense if you don't pass it on. This is one of those manipulations chain letters use to get us forwarding like crazy.

 

If you don't simply "remember" but you actually have common sense, please don't forward this chain letter.

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